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1 Corinthians 7:8,16 -Marriage- Pastor Rick Beaudry 2024-05-12
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First Corinthians chapter seven, would you please stand with me as we read verses eight through 16? First Corinthians chapter seven verses eight through 16. I say therefore to the unmarried and widowed that it is good for them if they abide even as I. But if they cannot contain, let them marry for it is better to marry than to burn. And under the married I command, yet not I but the Lord, let not the wife depart from her husband. But if she depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband and let not the husband put away his wife. But to the rest speak I, not the Lord. If any brother has a wife and she believeth not and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him, not put her away. And the woman which has a husband and believeth not, if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him. For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband. Elsewhere your children unclean, but now are they holy. But if the unbelieving depart, let them depart. A brother or sister is not under bondage in such cases, but God has called us to peace. For what knowest thou, o wife, whether thou shalt save thy husband, or how knowest thou, o man, whether thou shall save thy wife. Father, thank you for your holy word. And Lord, we need instruction in marriage. We need instruction in the family. We need instruction with husbands and wives and children and all of it, Lord, that you've ordained, that you've created. Lord, we in the church are having a grave grave difficulty, huge difficulty in being faithful and being who you've called us to be. We thank you for the examples in this room here of like Ronnie and Fred and others that have been married, faithfully married, and, depicting Lord, showing pictorially, typologically our relationship with you, that we're married to Christ, that we're the bride of Christ. Lord, we pray for the newlyweds. We pray you're undergird and strengthen them and help them to be instructed. Help all of us, Lord. Help us not to drop our guard as the enemy comes about like a roaring lion seeking whom he may devour. Let us glorify you in these last days, Lord, and just the simplicity of faith and love and hope in you. So bless now we pray in Jesus' name. Amen. Would you please be seated? We in the church today are struggling in the same type of challenges the church, of Corinth had faced. And so they were very licentious. They were very, sexually active. And then they swung to the other side of celibacy of abstinence and trying to figure it out and all. And so they're confused about marriage and, remarriage and what are the parameters, what are the instructions from God, what's the purpose of marriage and how binding is it and and where's divorce come in? Where's abandonment come in? Where's it what do we do if we're married to an unbeliever? So we we're we got married when we were unbelievers and then one of us gets saved and now we're still married to our spouse who is an unbeliever. What do we do there? What should we just divorce them? Should we move on? Should we try and force them to become a Mormon? And if they don't, we move on? I don't know. No. I'm just you didn't you didn't hear that from me. I think that's something the Mormons do. But, so Paul addresses questions concerning marriage by four different groups of people. The unmarried, the widow, the married believing couple, and the mixed marriage of a believer with an unbeliever. And I know we have some in the room like that that you've been married to your husband, your wife for many years and your spouse is an unbeliever and boy, that's a huge challenge. Some of your widows, that are here and you're single and some of you, got recently gone through a divorce or been in divorce many years ago and, you've elected to remain single. You're maybe looking for a spouse, can't find one suitable, but, you're content presently. And, and then there's those who have been married for many years and those, who've gone through a divorce and remarried and maybe a few times, but, you're getting it right now. And so, we, we recognize how very very painful it is when the Lord takes two people and, the two become one, and it's a picture of, two two by fours glued together. And if you try to break that asunder with a divorce or even death, is very, very, very painful upon you and upon your children. So we're not here to berate or belittle or tear down or cause more pain. We're here to instruct. We're here to look at God's word that we might alleviate some of the confusion of what it means to be married and, what God's intention, the ideal, for marriage is. So concerning marriage, number one, the unmarried and widows. Verse eight. I say therefore to the unmarried and the widows, it is good for them if they abide even as I. So the apostle Paul is unmarried. We saw last week where as a member of the Sanhedrin, probably most likely to be a member of the Sanhedrin, you had to be once married. And as a Jew, as Saul of Tarsus, when he came to a saving faith, he was raised at the feet of Gamaliel. He was a pharisee of pharisees concerning his contemporaries exceeded them all. So he was a mover and a shaker among the religious elite. And so in Judaism, they would have a mock funeral for you if you came to Christ. So quite possibly his family disowned him, actually had a funeral for him and and there's no more Saul of Tarsus or whatever. So he's a single man and Saul Saul, why are you persecuting me? I'm Jesus whom you're persecuting. Can you continue to to kick against the goads? Paul, I believe, haunted with the vision, the face of Stephen shining like that of an angel as he was consenting to the martyrdom of Stephen and they laid the coats at the feet of one named Saul of Tarsus. And as he began to be the chiefest of sinners, a blasphemer, wasting the church and all, it just tormented him and the Lord Jesus apprehended him, arrested him on the road to Damascus and let him know that I'm gonna use you to appear before kings and before religious leaders and such. And so Paul, a prolific in his writing of great portions of the New Testament and his missionary turning the world upside down, reaching the place at the end of his at the end of his ministry where he covered every known area including one that go to the far reaches of what was known as Spain back then. So he's unmarried, previously married but now a widow, now single but not a virgin, a divorced man or woman, divorced before coming to Christ. The widow is a single person and people once married but separated by death. He said it's good for them if they abide even his eyes. So Paul saying, you know, it's good if you remain single. My dad was married to my mom for twelve years and, and when they divorced, it absolutely devastated him. He'd need a couple six packs of beer a night just to get to sleep. And and then he and I around the same time, a couple years later, both came to Christ. And once he came to Christ, he didn't need that anymore. He's got a peace in his heart, loves the Lord Jesus, and I believe he still loves my mom. But so incredibly painful for him to go through that experience. I just don't sense that he ever wanted to go through it again, even test the waters, but also so incredibly content to be single as a as a Christian man and being able to serve the Lord however he, you know, however he chooses. Now you remember in the time when Jesus was born, Mary and Joseph took Jesus to the temple to dedicate him. And there was one Simeon that was there. There was also a woman named, Anna. And she was a prophetess, daughter of Fanuel of the tribe of Asher. And from seven years from her virginity, meaning she was married seven years, her husband died. So she went to the temple and dedicated herself to fasting and prayer. And speaking of redemption to those who had come, she was preaching Christ to the people that would come there for eighty and four years. Eighty four years there in the temple serving the lord in that capacity. And we read, there was one Anna, prophetess in Luke two thirty six, the daughter of Fanuel of the tribe of Asher. She was of a great age and had lived with a husband seven years from her virginity. And as she was a widow of about four score and four years, which departed not from the temple, but served God with fasting and prayers night and day. And she coming in that instance gave thanks likewise under the Lord and spake of him to all them that look for redemption in Jerusalem. So this is an evangelist woman. She's an evangelist. She's a herald. She's there ready to preach Christ, preach of redemption, the blood of Jesus that's gonna wash away our sins, the cross of Calvary. She's also a prophetess. She can speak forth the word of God, and she's a widow. And she doesn't feel like she's a woman of reproach or that she has to get remarried. She has to have kids. She has to any of that. She just dedicated herself to serving the Lord, and she's been there eighty and four years, and she has the blessing of Mary and Joseph bringing the Christ child, the Messiah, the anointed one there to the temple. In verse nine, but if they cannot contain, let them marry for it is better to marry than to burn. So it's optional. If you are in heat, if you're lusting, if you're burning, and this whole celibacy thing, this absence thing doesn't work for you, that's okay. God didn't give you the gift of celibacy. As we talked about last week, Jesus said in Matthew 19, some men are made, you know, are born from the mother's womb as eunuchs. Others are made eunuchs by men. So, you know, a king or whatever, a leader, if you're watching the harem, if you're around his harem, he might, have you have you clipped so you're not a threat to his harem. And so you're made a eunuch by by, by men. And then others have the gift, you know. They just they just flat out have the gift. And some choose this lifestyle to better serve the Lord, but you better have the gift because if you're a priest or a nun or a pastor or an ascetic person, a person that thinks that denying the flesh makes you holier than everybody else. It doesn't make you holier than anybody else. We all fit. We'll see next week. We all have to grow where we're planted. We all have a function within the body. So you don't look down on those who are single like, oh, man, your life's incomplete because you're not married. No. That's not true. They're complete. They're they're who God has made them to be and they have more freedom, if you will. Paul talked about that next week. To serve the Lord, their time doesn't need to be divided up between children and and spouses and such. They can dedicate all their time, to serving the Lord. And, and so that's an advantage. Paul could travel all over at the drop of a penny. He could hop on a ship. He could go anywhere he wanted. Where Peter, with a wife, may be a far more difficult to be away from home for a period of time and, with a wife and the responsibility thereof. For me, I have to be married. God made me to be married. You're not more holy than I am if you're a celibate. I'm no I'm no more holier than you because, because I'm married. We all are holy because of the holy spirit moving and working in our lives. And so we all need the help of the holy spirit to fulfill, God's plan and purposes for our life. And so, don't look down on people that are single within the church like somehow all they missed out, all she's an old maid, she's this, she's that. I mean, think about Anna right there, eighty and four years. No. That's not the case. And I believe a lot of the people that are single go like this. Thank God I'm not married when they see your marriages, you know. They're like, thank you Lord for making me single, you know. So marriage isn't always the utopia people project it to be. Marriage in many cases can be a bad marriage is a bad marriage, and it can be like a prison sentence. It can be like, how am I gonna ever get out of this? And so we don't we don't wanna just get married simply to satisfy the physical drive that we have for sex. We wanna make sure that that this this life, this marriage is built upon Jesus, and that our lives, the two coming together, becoming one, and the propagation of having children, or maybe you you can't have children, but in any event, your marriage is a ministry under Christ and it glorifies the Lord and people see the intimacy that you enjoy, the two coming together as one. So celibacy is a gift. If you're inflamed with passion, you need to remarry. Not good to be alone. And so that's one of the one of the things there is man, I just I just I I don't have the gift, you know. And first Timothy five fourteen, I will therefore that the younger women, and he designates it as under 60. So if you're a widow, under 60, Paul says, marry. Get remarried. He says, bear children. Wow. Wow. Bear children. Guide the house. Give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully. So Paul's saying, hey, you you still have a drive in you. You still have a desire for intimacy. So you're 60. Go ahead and get married. You know, be barefoot and pregnant. Just run around barefoot and pregnant and continue to have kids and that'll satisfy you as a woman. And and, you know, that's how that's how my daughter Britney is so prolific. She's grounding all the time. She doesn't wear shoes and and it just, that whole grounding thing makes you more fertile. We got the seventh child coming and, gonna have a baseball team pretty soon, and it's gonna be awesome. But think about that for a minute. I mean, so many so much of our culture's anti child, large family, and, they'll look down their noses at you like, in that sense. But look at the glory, look at the beauty, the the just the the grace of God upon a mother. Is there's no greater there's no greater calling in life than that of being a mother. You have such a great opportunity with your husband to lead these children to Christ, to get them into heaven. And, God's entrusted them to you. Psalm a 127 says that children are a gift from the Lord. And happy is he that has his quiver full of them. Now, I don't know how big that quiver is. Those arrows are, but, you know, Kathy told me after two that, that was her limit. That that's that's, you know, that was my limit. That's my limit, Rick. If I'm gonna homeschool these kids, this is where I'm at. I so I respected that. And I said, great, honey. But but I watched Britney, I'm just amazed. I watched in amazement at how good a mother and how good a father Wayne is and what a blessing it is to be a grandfather and Kathy a grandmother to be around them. And so that's that's the that's the model within the church. That's that's God ordained that that we'd be fruitful in that way. And so what a blessing. And then the second group that we come to, so concerning marriage, it's not just the unmarried and widows, but the married believer. Verse 10, and under the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, let not the wife depart from her husband. So Malachi two sixteen, God hates divorce. When my mom was married and divorced seven times, I hated divorce. I hate it. And I hate going through that. I hate watching everything up, the upheaval of it all. I hate watching the the yelling, the screaming, the throwing of stuff, the sheriffs coming, the volatility. I just hated it, and I just couldn't understand. I just couldn't understand. But now as an adult, a little older, and being married, without the help of the Holy Spirit, none of us would make it. And my mom didn't know Jesus. And so, not till the very end there. And so, I, I look at her as a survivor. She had me when she's 15, and she didn't set me up for abortion or adoption. One thing about my mom is nobody was gonna get her kids. She's gonna raise all of her kids, and when my sister was disqualified as a mother, she raised my sister's two children. And so as as as rough as she was, she always had a house and food and and made sure that we were loved and and cared for in that way. So, it's hard as an unbeliever though. She took the hard, hard, hard road. And and so my hats off to her her tenacity, her unwillingness to quit, but boy, the the quitting the marriages, that that was frustrating. God hates divorce. It's very destructive. It's very difficult. It's very hard on the kids. It's hard on the whole family. And, the devil's come to steal, to kill, and to destroy. And, in Matthew five verse 31, whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causes her to commit adultery. And whosoever shall marry her that is divorced commits adultery. So there was no easy divorce. The easy divorce for any reason in our culture makes it, you know, where the lawyers just line right up and, you know, divide the goods, the whole thing, it's over and boom, you're done, you know. There was no easy divorce. It wasn't, except for, sexual immorality. And then there's even a higher standard for us that are believers because if in fact somebody within the marriage, husband or wife, one of the spouses commits fornication or adultery, you and I are to forgive them. You and I are to work toward restoration, reconciliation. And so we would say, we would qualify, and we would say unrepentant sexual immorality is the grounds of divorce in a Christian home. If they repent, forgive them. And if they forgive them and you can truly forgive from your heart with the help of the Holy Spirit and you have a sense of trust to reestablish the trust that they won't do it again, then you can build a good relationship. You can move forward. But if you have a serial a serial adulterer that you're married to, then get out of the marriage. Don't waste another day. Don't waste another dollar, another week. You God has someone better for you. God is not asking you to share your marriage bed with someone else. And so it's up to them. The ball's in their court. If they repent, forgive them. But if they're gonna be a serial adulterer and think that they can they can, bind you to that marriage, they're mistaken. So raising two daughters and having my attitude of I hate divorce, very binding as I impose upon them, but then I also recognize, wait a minute, these are my daughters. How would I want a man to treat them? And then I began to reevaluate and began to look at it in a different way. Oh. Oh. Husbands, take knowledge of your wives, lest your prayers be hindered. If you think for a minute you're gonna come in there and dominate another human being, you're mistaken. You're you're ignorant to think that wives submit to your husbands mean that she's gonna submit to every little weirdness that you have in your little head. Not gonna happen. You're gonna need to take knowledge of her and help her to achieve, help her to become the woman that God has uniquely made her. She's not your mom. She's not anybody else. And you don't try to break her. You don't try to break her spirit and break her to a puddle of tears or, you know, on the verge of mental breakdown because of your lack of lack of love or care or intercession or assisting and all. And so so I've come to the conclusion that marriage is not a prison sentence. And that if if you don't treat her right, you're gonna lose her. And so make sure that you treat her the way that Christ loved his church. So no easy divorce. The different groups, the different religious groups, the Shammai and and, I forget the other one, Hillel, one was conservative, one was liberal, and as we said last week, you could divorce your wife. The men could divorce wives. Wives couldn't divorce their husbands. Men had all the rights, but you could divorce your wife for simply burning your toast and cooking something wrong. And so Jesus came back and said, no. Only for adultery, only for fornication. Otherwise, it's it's it becomes adultery. So three grounds to remarry. If you wanna be remarried, one is adultery. Your spouse committed adultery, you can remarry. Number two, death. Death separates you from the bond. You're a widow, you can remarry. Third is abandonment. If you're abandoned, if you're abandoned by your spouse, you're free to remarry. And so the the importance of but and if he depart, let her remain unmarried or reconciled her husband and let not the husband put away his wife. So if one of you needs to depart, you need a time of separation. You don't run out real quick and go get a divorce and go to the next person. You seek reconciliation. You have a period of separation where maybe you go through some time of counseling and try to get things back on track, meaning build upon the rock, build upon Jesus Christ, be a doer of the word, not a hearer only, and allow God to bring healing. Allow God to he's the God of a second chance, of a third chance. The word of the Lord came to Jonah a second time. Samson's hair began to grow back. God can redeem. God can bring healing to your marriage. He can bring the balm of Gilead, make your marriage better than it's ever been as he intervened. So it may be that you took a shallow kind of a distant relationship with the Lord. You kinda took it for granted that your marriage would be just so blessed, but because you haven't put Jesus first, you strayed over a period of time. But in a crisis, now you're coming back to square one. Now God has your attention. Your wife's gonna file for divorce because you've been messing around. And and now now the pastor can finally talk to you. He's got your attention. All that talking about, I do church out when I'm hunting. How's that working for you now? All that putting Jesus out there in the periphery, like, I don't need to get my family to church, a casual relationship with Jesus, man, you better be intense. You better be intense as a father in the day and age in which we're living because the devil's coming after you and your family. You can't play tiddlywinks. You can't mess around with the devil. He's out to destroy you. So truly, if you want a strong family, a strong marriage, you are gonna be in church, a church that teaches the bible, one of the greatest insurances for your marriage. You need both of you to be hearing the word of God through the holy spirit teaching so that you can be convicted of your stupidity and come to the place of repentance on a regular basis to turn from your evil and nip it in the bud. Don't let it grow. Don't let that lust grow in your heart. Nip it in the bud. Stop it right now. Don't go there because one day it'll come back to bite you. And so if you're wise, you're gonna be a guy that builds his house upon the rock, builds his house upon Jesus Christ. You're not only a hearer of the word, but you're a doer of the word. The foolish builders are one that builds it on sand. His life, his career, his his marriage on sand. He's a hearer of the word, not a doer. He has selective hearing. It doesn't apply to me. Look how much money I've got. Look how great things are. Well, we don't know how strong your marriage is, how strong your walk with the Lord is until a storm comes, until you lose your job, until you go through a sickness, until your wife hates to looking at your face. You know? Now we've got a crisis. Now we need to seek Jesus. And as you seek the Lord, you begin to reprioritize. You begin to seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness. All these other things are added unto you. And that was the devil meant for evil to snatch away your bride. God meant for good to get you serious, to get you to put Jesus first in your home. And it may not be too late for your kids. Very few of them are gonna play for the NFL or play Major League Baseball or the NBA. Very, very, very few microscopic. So you that wanna live your life through your kids and sports and not be at church, you are mistaken. What's it profit a man to gain the whole world and lose his own soul, or what would a man give in exchange for his life? Big deal. So what? Is his name written in the lamb's book of life? If not, you're a fool and you raised a fool because your life is but a vapor. It's gonna soon be over. All that matters. Everything you do for yourself is gonna pass. Only what you do for Jesus Christ is gonna last. So if God makes your son a great athlete or a doctor, whatever it may be, let them learn to use that platform for the preaching of the gospel, the proclamation of Jesus with a greater audience. All that's in the world it's perishing. In Matthew 19 verse three, the Pharisees came to Jesus and says, is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause? Easy divorce? And Jesus says in verse four, you not read? He that made them at the beginning, so we're going back to the beginning, the creator. How did he make them? He made them male and female. He's not confused. There's no transgender. There's no in betweeners. There's no change in your gender. He didn't make a mistake. He didn't say oops. You are who you are. He made them in the beginning male and female. Got it? Real simple. Basic. Basic. Basic. So in the beginning, he made them male and female and said, for this cause shall a man leave father and mother and shall cleave to his wife, so leave and cleave. And they twain shall be one flesh. Now that doesn't mean that you take off and never see grandma and grandpa again. Hey, it says leave and cleave. I got her now and I'm taking her away and you'll never see her again. No. Don't do that. That's that's not godly. That's not a good thing. I know sometimes the careers and such do take our kids and and our children away for a long period of time, but that doesn't necessarily have to happen, you know. Wherefore, they are no more twain but one flesh. Where what therefore God has joined together, let not man put asunder. So the two become together as one, no meddling, no, in between, but we are accountable. All of us are accountable to each other. We're accountable within the church. I saw a thing yesterday where, I don't know, it was John MacArthur or somebody talking about the word of God and the accountability thereof and churches like that and all. And I suggested that very, very few people want a bible teaching church. And why is that? Why do people like churches that don't teach the bible? Why do they thrive in them? Why do they love them so much that only give a tiny bit of God's word? Because there's no accountability. When the bible's taught, the holy spirit convicts people's hearts. So some of you husbands that are here this morning, you're feeling like a dog right now. And you're feeling like you've been blown it because the holy spirit's convicted you. And others of your friends can't even make it back a second time because they don't like feeling like that. They don't like that feeling because they're in charge. So they wanna go somewhere where it's entertaining, where they feel good, therapeutic, and, they don't wanna be convicted. They don't want to be accountable to the teaching of the word of God. So that is the Laodicean church where the people rule. That's what Laodicean means, the people rule. So we're looking for teachers. We have itchy ears and we're looking for teachers that'll tell us me things, I things, things I wanna hear. And so I don't know how you can have a marriage and last in a marriage with all that therapeutic mumbo jumbo, blab and grab, and they don't. They fail. They fail. The marriages fail because they don't have a foundation to get through the tough times. But we love it so. Says wherefore as no man twain but one flesh, wherefore what God has joined together, let no man put us under. Why did Moses then command to give a right in the divorcement and to put her away? So they're challenging Jesus. Moses, because of the hardness of your heart, suffered you to put away your wives, but from the beginning it was not so. And so Jesus said, idealistically, the ideal is that the two would come together and become one, but we recognize in human frailty that in our frailty, in our sinfulness, our propensity to sin, there comes a point in time in many marriages, hopefully it'd be a few, where that marriage can no longer continue because of adultery or whatever else. I can't say whatever else. He's limited to adultery. But in any event, Moses gives a way out, and we tongue in cheek say, well, divorce is better than murder because if there isn't a way out, then the wife will murder her husband somehow, someway because she's got to get out of there. Why? Because marriage is not a prison sentence. These women had no rights at all. None. And yet, some need to get out of that marriage, lest they kill themselves or kill everyone around them, you know. So we see it happen. We see the pressure, and we see that there's many a man that's a monster, just a complete monster in this marriage. And they they think they're gods, and that's what I'm saying. Don't do that to my daughters. Don't do that. They're not to be beaten. They're not to be belittled. They're not to be berated. They're not to be beaten down with your words and your condemnation. That's not why God gave her to you. And I say unto you, whosoever shall put away his wife except to be for fornication and shall marry another commits adultery and who so marries her, which is put away, does commit adultery. And so you can see where a person within a marriage, it's a wife or a woman, one of the ways out is what? If the only way out is adultery, then guess what? How many go out and commit adultery so they can sabotage their marriage? They want out. They want out. But as we said before, the greatest insurance policy for a marriage is a good marriage. God will help you being filled with the holy spirit. In John chapter eight, to show you the lack of privilege, the lack of rights that a woman would have, Jesus was teaching and the religious leaders, the pharisees brought a woman caught in the very act of adultery in John eight, in the very act. Didn't bring the man. You see the privilege of the men? The men have privilege, but the women had no rights. The Jews would wake up in the morning and they prayed to the Lord, thank you that I wasn't born a Gentile or a woman. So we caught her in the very act and the law says that she should be stoned. And Jesus stoops down on the ground and begins to write with his finger, the finger of God that wrote the 10 commandments on on the stone. He begins to write in the dust of the ground, stooping down on the ground. And then he looks up and he says, he that is without sin cast the first stone. That's conviction. Conviction is important. These guys are coming in all self righteous. Now Jesus is writing the names of the women they've been with. I don't know what he's writing. But from the eldest to the youngest, they walked out of there with their sandals wiping out what Jesus wrote right there. They're convicted. They're being exposed. And then they began to write again down on the ground, and then they looked up at the woman. He says, where are thine accusers? And she says, nowhere, Lord. Thine accuser Satan's the accuser of the brethren. He takes the letter of the law to kill, to destroy. Even if we make mistakes, even if we sin in a marriage, there can be forgiveness. There can be restoration. The law says she should be stoned. Jesus said, where are thine accusers? And she says, nowhere, Lord. And Jesus says, neither do I condemn thee. Go and sin no more. It's not a license to keep sinning. Repent. Go and sin no more. This isn't the way to contentment, lady. We forgive you. So marriage, one man, one woman, one lifetime designed by God. It's his idea. Concerning marriage, the unmarried and widows, the married believer, thirdly, the mixed marriage. But to the rest speak I, not I, not the Lord. If any brother has a wife that believeth not and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away. And the woman which has a husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with thee, let her not leave him. So stay married. Today, women have the same rights as men, no fault divorces. Take half the half the assets. You don't have to put up with anything. You can get out of there quick. But you're married to an unbeliever and, and he doesn't believe in Jesus, are you to stay in that marriage? Paul says, yes, stay in the marriage. Seek peace. Seek to win him to Christ. Seek to win her. And the woman which has a husband that believeth not, if he pleased to dwell with thee, let her not leave him. So stay married. Win your spouse to Christ with your life. First Peter three one, Peter says, without the word be won by the conversation of the wives. So I know that that we wanna share the gospel with our unbelieving spouse. We wanna put notes in their lunch pails and little little notes here and there and little things all over the house and cards and all kinds of ways to communicate the love of Jesus. And Peter's saying, you know, win your spouse with your lifestyle. Love them. Love them into the kingdom. Love them unconditionally. Chuck Missler and his wife, Nancy, they wrote a book, Why Do I Have to Be the First to Change? I think it was Nancy. And, and so what she began to do with what she calls the way of agape, agape love, is she began to take knowledge of her husband because he wasn't taking knowledge of her, and he she began to put, his favorite foods foods in the refrigerator. Favorite drinks, favorite everything all over the place. And so she's they're already both believers, but he's neglecting his marriage and should be she begins to win him back over with unconditional love. She's wanting him to change. He doesn't even know he's got a problem. Why do I have to be the first to change? And so she takes the high road and she begins to love on him, and it it touches his heart. That's the power of the holy spirit. That's the power of God's love. A virtuous woman, her price is far above rubies. Verse 14, for the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband. Elsewhere your children unclean, but now are ye holy. So you have a sanctified household. You have an unbeliever with a believer. America should be sanctified by the amount of people professing to be Christians. We're a quote unquote Christian nation, and God causes to rain on the just and the unjust. There are a whole lot of unbelievers, ungodly people who benefit because you as a Christian are being blessed by God. Your communities are safer. Your schools should be better. Your marriages should be better. Your churches should be better. And that is a blessing from God that sanctifies to a degree that, you know, it's not like Sodom and Gomorrah, let's say, where Lot has lost his influence. We're salt and light. We haven't lost their influence, so we're we're able to preserve a better community. And then what happens is the parasites come and they move to Boise, Idaho. They move to Coeur D'Alene, Idaho. They move to all these places that have conservative, godly Christian people who've built a community that's safe, built a community that isn't crazy, and they come in and they make it crazy. They come in and try to topple it, destroy it. But they like certain things, and so they don't complain, you know, like gated communities and the safety thereof and all that. But, but their liberal agenda, they'll wanna get in, to the the school boards, and they'll wanna get into everything and infiltrate and destroy it once again because that's that's all they know to do is to destroy. But in a home, a sanctified home, you can have an unbeliever and he may be ungodly, but the wife, if she's a believer, she can sanctify those children. She can provide a home as a homemaker. She can provide an environment where these children have a better chance of reaching, maturity, having known what it is to be loved by by a loving God and a loving mother. And and so the husband, he may be a a bad influence, and and guys, you need to understand that your influence, you not going to church, you not reading the bible, even though you profess to be a Christian, has a greater influence upon your children than your mothers, than your wives. Because gods hold you to be the leader. You're the one accountable. You're the one responsible. You want that headship? You want your wife to be in submission to you? Then you need to lead. Women are willing, but they're looking for godly leaders. You need to lead. You need to be the one that says, we're going to church on Sunday. Wife says, oh, I don't think so. I got this this that and the other. We're going to church. And we're gonna go midweek and we're gonna get involved in a bible study and we're gonna read our bible. That's you men. That's the men. Not the women. But when the men drop the ball and they think in their machoism, and I and I I have to have to agree with the men. Why go play church when you can see through the idiocy of many of these churches? I'd rather go out golf and fishing or somewhere else too. But if the word of God's being brought forth, the word of God will humble any strong man. The word of God will reduce you to just a puddle, you know? So don't act like you're stronger than the word of God. If if the word of God isn't being taught, then all the power to you. Go your own way. It's a waste of time going to a church that doesn't teach God's word. Just a social club. You can make your own social clubs. But where the word of God is taught, make sure your family's in a place where the word of God is taught because the word of God is living a powerful and sharper than any two edged sword dividing the soul and spirit and joint and marrow and discern of the thoughts and intents of the heart. It's the word of God that can transform and change your husband's mind, that can transform and change your mind and the minds of your children. It's the power of the word of God with the power of the Holy Spirit that can change. So a sanctified household, the the believer, your grandma praying for you kept the hedge of protection around you. What's the hedge of protection? Read the book of Job. God allowed Satan. God removed the hedge of protection. Your community sanctified. God is not judging America just yet because the restrainer hasn't been removed because we haven't been raptured yet. When the rapture takes place, all hell's gonna break loose upon the earth dwellers. Just you being a Christian, being on planet earth preserves good. You being a Christian in a in a home, in a family preserves good. There's a hedge of protection with grandma praying. I've noticed so many times when grandma finally dies that the children and the grandchildren feel it. Where's that hedge of protection now? I missed the prayers of grandma. I missed the prayers of grandpa. Used to kinda laugh at grandpa when he say grace and stuff, but man, I miss it now. Times are getting weird. They seem so confident. They seem so sure. Their faith was so rock solid. The great depression, all the things they went through, but man, they made it. They were rock solid in their walking relationship with the Lord and we mocked and we we just kind of laughed at them. But boy, I miss them now. Your godly mother suffering through the abuses of your drunk father. Why? To preserve the family. She had to endure the abuse of his flagrant way that he would talk, the things that he'd throw, his raging, his drinking. He'd go and work and bring the money home, but man, the home was kept intact by mom. Her endurance, her patience, her love for her spouse, but her greater love for her children preserved her family. The songs that she sang, the songs that she would sing to help you get to sleep brought peace and and comfort to your heart. You ever had a child that was the devil was after her or him? The radical, radical pursuit of the wicked one to destroy your child. Kathy used to put her hand on the door of our daughter's bedroom, and she could sense a demonic presence trying to destroy our daughter. Our daughter who didn't want to listen to reason. Kathy, like many of you mothers and fathers, would just pray and pray and pray. Vicky praying for Brandon, when Brandon was going the wrong way. Many of you have testimonies of your kids being oppressed and on the verge of suicide, on the verge of being destroyed. As the prayers of a godly mother and a godly grandmother that gets us through. Going to church each Sunday when you're young planted the seeds of faith that you stand in today. People love to make jokes when I come after them hard for missing church. For some people, can barely get here once a month. Make all kinds of jokes. Well, I do church out here. I do church there. Well, it's not going to church that makes you a Christian. It's how you walk after, you know. Get your kids in church. Tell the baseball people, we'll play on Saturday, but Sunday morning, it's church. You wanna do soccer Sunday afternoon as a family? Great. Let them all know Jesus comes first. He's essential. We're gonna sing jay. We're gonna meet. We're not gonna shut down. We're not gonna accommodate the things of the world. Paul and Silas were in Philip Philippian Jail. At midnight, they began to sing and worship the Lord, and they brought the house down. An earthquake broke loose, and all the guys' chains and stuff came off their hands. And and, the Philippian jailer saw what was happening and picked the knife up and was gonna kill himself. And, Paul inter interceded and said, no. No. No. We're all still here. Why would the prisoners stay there? Because something majestic, something holy, something greatly out of the normal was happening there. And they wanted to see. How could, first of all, guys who've been beaten, whipped, be willing to sing to their god at midnight and songs that we've never heard before and like angels of heaven. And the Philippian jailer had a real quick request. What must I do to be saved? And Paul says, believe on the Lord Jesus Christ and you shall be saved. And how does Philippian jailer even know to ask such a question? What's it mean to be saved? Because he's convicted. Because all of us deep down know we're sinners. All of us know there's a God that we're accountable to. What must I do to be saved? Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ and thou shall be saved and thy house and your house, your family. Paul's speaking prophetically there, the sanctification of this man's life and his family, and Paul is has his wounds wiped and medicinally cared for by the Philippian jailers. They brought Paul and Silas home, and as he bring Paul and Silas home, the gospel shared to them too, and his family gets saved and they're baptized. Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ and you shall be saved and your household. No guarantee. And so what do we mean by sanctification? Sanctification means holy. You bring a holy influence into your home even with an unbeliever there. It means set apart for special exposure to the gospel. Set apart to be set apart from the world under God for exposure under the gospel. So you as the wife are gonna monitor the television, you're gonna monitor the switches, you're gonna monitor that which is coming into that home that none of it's filthy. You're going to insist upon that your husband not lead the children into filth. You can't change the way he talks. You can't change whether he smokes. You can't change whether he drinks, but you can negotiate some parameters for the sake of the home and the kids. There's a guy, I think it's the Salvation Army tells a story that was down drinking at the bar, and he, boasted that he could go home being drunk at this time of night, past midnight, and that he could wake his wife up and that she'd get up and that she would fix them all something to eat. And they went with him, and he woke her up, and she fixed them something to eat. And the guys are like amazed, like, how how could this be? How how could how could she possibly, you know, yield to do that? Because of God's love. She's trying to win him with her manner of life. But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or sister is not under bondage in such cases, but God has called us to peace. So seek peace, don't force. Abandonment, if you're abandoned in that marriage, you're free to remarry. But stay in the marriage, especially for the kids. Endure it. Seek peace. Seek reconciliation. Pray pray pray that your spouse will come to know Jesus. You can't force. Romans twelve eighteen, if it be possible as much as lies within you, live peaceably with all men. Verse 16, for what knows thou, a wife, whether thou shalt save thy husband or how knows thou, o man, whether thou shalt save thy wife? God loves your spouse. I know some of you have been through wicked evil divorces, but God loves your spouse. And you're given over to the tormentors every moment of every day that you continue to hate your spouse. God's forgiven you a debt of millions and millions of dollars, and your husband owes you a debt of $5 in comparison, and you're gonna hold it over him until he goes to hell. You're the one in torment. God loves your spouse. And everything you say about him may be true, but God still loves your spouse. For God sent not his son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world through him might be saved. God loves your ex wife. God loves your ex husband. I remember at the holidays, it was pretty awkward for my dad to come at Christmas time with my mom and her new husbands and stuff, but but he did it. He did it for the sake of us kids, and he found a way to be at peace with my mom. They buried the hatchet so to speak. God loves your dad, the one who abandoned you and your mom. Mom had to go back to work. Mom was a homemaker. Mom was raising the kids, and dad went psycho. He started going after the young girls. He abandoned you. He abandoned your mom, but God loves him. You as a believer, you sit down and you write that letter to him. Now you're a Christian. And that bitterness, that anger that you had toward your dad, you know it's gone. It's not there anymore. But you want your dad to come to Christ. So you write him a letter. You plead with him to come to Christ. He says, well, I thought the grass was greener on the other side, but it wasn't. So he's kinda saying I made my bed, I'm gonna have to lie in it now, which is not true. He can still come to Christ. God loves your mother. He wants to be a husband to her that she might know real love. In John chapter four, Jesus came to the area of the Samaritan woman, a divine appointment. One woman, one woman with Jesus. And he asked her for some water from the well, Jacob's well. He said that he had water that she could drink if she'd never thirst again. Well, give me this water that I don't need to draw and I'll never thirst again. And Jesus said, go get your husband. And she says, I don't have a husband. And Jesus said, that you rightly said. That that's true. You've had five husbands. And the guy that you're with now, he's not your husband. That you said true. Marriage didn't work for this gal. She reminds me of my mom. Every time she'd get remarried, it was like, this is gonna be the one. This is gonna be the one where I'm gonna experience true love, real love. And when Kathy and I got married, one of the things I had one of the things I learned and I had to emphasize was, Kathy, you're not gonna find fulfillment in me. I'm not gonna meet your every need. Only Jesus only Jesus can meet your every need, your deepest needs. Our marriage typifies. Our marriage is a picture of the relationship that you and I have with Jesus. Your greatest needs, women of Samaria, is a relationship with Jesus. That's the water, the living water. If any man thirst, let him come unto me and drink. He that believes in me, as the scripture said, of his belly shall flow torrents of living water. Kathy looks right beyond me now. She didn't even expect me to fulfill her. She knows that Jesus is the only one that can fulfill her. In a relationship with him. True love. Marriage doesn't work. You're still thirsty. You're searching for satisfaction. Only marriage to Jesus will bring that satisfaction. Only marriage to Jesus can fill that thirsty heart. In Jeremiah thirty one three, he says, have loved thee with an everlasting love, therefore with loving kindness have I drawn thee. Jesus will never divorce you. He will never divorce or abandon you and I. You can always count on Jesus. Your husband may have rejected you, divorced you, abandoned you. Your wife may have cheated on you and bailed on you, but Jesus will never fail. He will never divorce you. That's glorious. That's a glorious truth. He's not gonna get tired of me. He's not gonna throw me away when I get fat, when I get ugly. He's not gonna just get rid of me. In Isaiah fifty four five, for thy maker is thy husband, the lord of hosts is his name, and thy redeemer, the holy one of Israel, the god of the whole earth shall he be called. For the lord has called thee as a woman forsaken and grieved in spirit and a wife of youth. When thou was refused, say it thy God. Rejection is so painful, so incredibly painful. My father-in-law, Bill, he used to say that to me every now and then. He used to say, you know, Rick, the one rejected in the marriage, the one that's sitting at the park bench wondering what just happened, that's the one in pain. That's the one that has the hardest time, whereas his wife, cheated on him. And then he was a part of the Catholic church, and when he went to the Catholic church, they in their doctrine, they labeled him an an adulterer, you know, a divorcee. And he couldn't remarry, holding to the letter of a letter of the law and such. And he felt like a second rate person. He he he didn't know forgiveness. He didn't know God's love. He didn't know God's grace. He was devastated by that dogma, by a doctrine so so fierce. Jesus knows what rejection is. He's despised and rejected of men, and men of sorrows and acquainted with grief when we hid as it were our faces from him. All we like sheep have gone astray and the Lord has laid on him the iniquity of us all. If you've ever been rejected in that way, as a child, as a spouse, as a husband, as a wife, as a brother, a sister, Jesus knows that pain. He knows what it is to come unto his own and his own receive him not. His brothers thinks he's he's crazy that he's beside himself. He's raised in Nazareth and they know him as as the son of the carpenter, you know. He was in the world, the world was made by him and the world knew him not. He came onto his own and his own received him not. The nation rejecting him. And even now, Jesus is proposing to you. I don't know how you proposed to your wife or which of you ladies proposed to your husband, but it just kinda came out with me and Kathy. And she says, what are you asking me? You you wanna marry me? I'm like, yeah. Right now, let's go to Vegas. Cause I'm burning with lust, man. Let's go. It's been nine months, honey. No. She set the date for nine more. And I'm running around like a eunuch, man. Even now he's proposing to you. In Isaiah 55 verse three, says, incline your ear and come unto me. Here and your soul shall live and I will make an everlasting covenant with you, even the sure mercies of David. Jesus said in John six, all that the father gives me shall come to me and him that comes to me, I'll know why is cast out. Jesus said in John six forty four, no man can come unto me except the father which has set me. Draw him and I'll raise him up at the last day. Jesus is proposing. The holy spirit's proposing. The holy spirit's saying to you, come. Be married to Jesus. Connect with Jesus. He'll receive you. All that come to me, I'll know why is cast out. Come. Why won't you come? In John one verse 11, he came onto his own and his own received him not. Now some of you are reading on Facebook and stuff that when we give an invitation for people to receive Christ, nowhere in the bible do you see that they'll say the idea of accept Christ. You need to accept Christ. Have you accepted Christ yet? Have you accepted Christ? We have to define all of our terms nowadays. We have terms of reconciliation. The terms of reconciliation with God is 100% complete surrender on our part. We're at war with God. We're at enmity with God. So if you wanna come, you need to drop the sword. You need to come in brokenness and humility and repentance. That's how you come. So the accepting, the semantics of accepting, listen to what he's saying here in John one eleven. He came onto his own and his own received him not. Verse 12. But as many as received him, to them gave he the power to become the sons of God, even to them who believe on his name. There's your faith. Reception, faith. And then he goes on to say, which were born not of blood, not the natural birth, Nicodemus. How can a man that is old go into a second time into his mother's womb? No. That was as born of flesh as flesh. That was as born of the spirit of spirit. You need to be born of the water, the natural birth, and the spirit. So which were born, not of blood, nor of the will of the flesh, nor the will of man, but born of God, born again. Jesus is proposing. The Holy Spirit's proposing. The Holy Spirit's going out to bring a bride to Christ. The Holy Spirit, the hound of heaven is going out, in this dispensation in the church age is wooing people. No man can come on to me except the father would set me draw him. The wooing of the groom, the wooing of wanting to woo the bride to bring favor. Like, will she say yes? Will she marry me? That's what's happening now. The Holy Spirit in the tribulation period is gonna be wooing the nation of Israel, the one third remnant, the wife of Jehovah, Jeremiah 31. The image, the picture is marriage. Marriage is holy, sanctified. In the world, the devil wants to destroy that picture, that relationship, that intimacy, that oneness that we have with Jesus that's typified in our human relationship that we call marriage. Jesus wants to fill your heart with his love to be married to you. Greater love has no man than this than a man lay down his life for his friends. Proverbs thirty one twenty eight says, her children rise up and call her blessed, her husband also and he praises her. Your mother, virtuous woman. The children praising her, her husband praising her, a woman that fears the Lord, she shall be praised. We're so blessed to have the moms, the grandmothers, the godly influence, their unwillingness to quit, their unwillingness to never give up no matter what the adversity may be. They'll never stop praying. And Lord, we pray for children to call their moms today, call their dads today, and be reconciled. All the seeds that have been sown, all the prayers that have been prayed, all the times together at church, and Mother's Day, and Christmas, and Easter, and all of it come to fruition where their faith is firm and strong, and they're called out of the wilderness. They're called back to home. They're they come home. They come home to what the homemaker made for them. Marriage, Israel, the wife of Jehovah, the church, the bride of Christ, the intimacy, being one with God. And we, as people, are a mess. We're just a mess, and that's why Paul brings out four different categories of people that are married or unmarried or whatever because as much as we all wanna live the ideal, we're frail, we're sinful, we blow it. And so God by the Holy Spirit is trying to bring us each of us back into fellowship with himself. He's trying to bring healing, reconciliation, love and forgiveness, to strengthen the family, to take all that the enemy means for evil and to turn it around for good. And in my family, I had the joy and the blessing of watching the Lord save me, save Kathy. And then Kathy, the evangelist, she was used to the Lord with her mom and her dad and her grandma and grandpa, her aunt. Her grandpa's like in his nineties. Kathy led him to the Lord, and and then Kathy's aunt said, what did you do with my dad? Because he was so nice to her after that. And then I watched my brothers and my sister and friends, my best friend Andy and others come to Christ, and we're part of the family of God. And those of us that didn't have godly moms and dads, we aspired to be godly moms and dads. We aspired to have a Christian home and to live Christian lives. We didn't wanna be in and out of relationships and living like the world. We wanted to raise children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. And it hasn't been easy, but it's been very, very rewarding to watch the Lord be so incredibly faithful. So incredibly faithful if we keep it simple, and we just keep walking that narrow path with him, and love and obedience unto him, falling more in love with Jesus, looking for that blessed hope and glorious appearing of our great God and savior. We're the virgins that have oil. We're the virgins that have the holy spirit, and we're looking for the groom. We're looking for Jesus to come, and he's coming at any moment. He's gonna snatch us. He's gonna fetch us. He's gonna take us to his home, and he's gonna lavish us with gifts, and he's gonna pour out blessings and a clean white garment to wear back to earth as he comes in Revelation 19 and as Jude says with 10 thousands and thousands of his saints. The marriage ceremony in heaven, John fourteen one through three, the return of Christ with his bride to Basra, to Petra, to Southern Jordan in Isaiah 63 and Revelation 19, and then the marriage supper of the lamb. Revelation chapter 20. We're gonna rule and reign with Jesus for a thousand years as kings and priests. No more sorrow, no more tears. Our kids are gonna make it. They're sanctified. They're sanctified. They're made holy. They're set apart in your Christian home. The safest place that God designed for your children to be raised and come to a saving knowledge of Jesus is the home with the influence of the homemaker, the mother, and the father. In Jesus' name. Amen. Father, we thank you. Lord, we thank you for how far you brought us. We thank you for godly women, for the mothers, Lord, that stand undeterred. Nothing can stop them. The most faithful among us, Lord. And we just praise you. We worship you, Lord. We thank you for their faithfulness. We thank you for their tenacity. They're like mama grizzlies, they they'll fight off anybody that is any kind of a threat to their young lord. And they know their job, they know their missions, get their kids into heaven. Lord, I thank you for Kathy. I thank you for the moms that are here. I thank you for the grandmothers. I thank you for the grandchildren, the children. What a joy and a blessing, Lord, to be a part of the family of God. I thank you, Lord, that we belong. I thank you that you call us sons and daughters, that we're joint heirs with Jesus Christ. All that he's inherited, we join in the riches that are ours in Christ Jesus as plutocrats. We worship you, Lord. We praise your name. As you took us from the Dunghill, as you took us from the the gutter, from the uttermost. Lot of us not raised in Christian homes, Lord. You rescued us. Thank you, Lord. If there's anyone here this morning and you don't know Jesus Christ, make it the best Mother's Day your mom ever had, a day where you come to Jesus. A day where you finally surrender, where you quit being that rebel, quit fighting against and against the Holy Spirit. Just yield, yield to God. Surrender. Receive Christ into your heart and life as you're turning from your sins, as you're crying out to God, God be merciful to me a sinner. The Holy Spirit simultaneously will convert you, will change you, transform you. You'll be born again, born of the spirit. It doesn't take a week to happen. It happens in a twinkling of an eye. The very first moment that you exercise faith and dependence and trust upon Jesus, the Holy Spirit comes into your heart and life to transform and make you new. He'll give you a new home, a new relationship with your brothers, your sisters, your family. Anyone here this morning? Just lift your hand up. We wanna pray with you as you receive Christ. Anyone this morning? Father, thank you once again for the examples, that we see within the scriptures. The examples of those that have gone before us, Lord. The heartaches, the belligerent children, the prodigals, the obstacles that many faced, and yet, Lord, we see by faith, by faith, by faith, by faith in Hebrews 11. And Lord, without faith, it's impossible to please God for they that come to you must believe that you are, and you're a rewarder who those who diligently seek you, Lord. Lord, we pray that you continue to pour out your grace and your kindness, your love upon us. Lord, in these dark last days, we pray that the fruit of the spirit, which is love, would just so overflow our hearts and minds that our marriages would be that which cause jealousy. People would be provoked to envy and jealousy because they would want what we want, Lord. They would want our Jesus. You're the secret, Lord. You're what makes our lives whole. You're what makes life worth living. We thank you, Lord. So blessed today. Bless Ronnie and Fred as they move on down to Arizona. Bless Robbie as she gets ready to go to the Ozarks. Bless John as he gets ready to go to South Dakota. And anybody else that's going, just bless them, Lord. Thank you for bringing them and bless them as they go. Pour out your holy spirit, Lord. Help us to glorify you. In Jesus' name we pray. Amen.
About This Podcast
Calvary Chapel Bremerton - Sunday Service
Listen to Rick Beaudry, Pastor of Calvary Chapel Bremerton, teach the Word of God cover to cover, chapter by chapter, and verse by verse. Be edified and built up in your faith with solid Bible teaching. New episodes on Mondays in the Pacific Standard Timezone.
